It Ain’t Easy

Blogging and social media allow us to show the best of our lives, we’ve overcome the struggles and now we’re dancing in the light. But sometimes the struggles are still there, or new struggles arise. The past few weeks have been pretty rough round these parts. I’ve been drained from 2-3 months of churning out assignment after assignments (am pleased with all my results I’m happy to say!) and trying to balance my degree, a new internship, blogging, CrossFit, my health, some form of a social life with the people I love and visiting home to see my family (my mum has MS – multiple sclerosis – and I like to make sure she’s okay). It’s bloody hard.

Wednesday night found me in bed about 9.30pm crying on the phone to my dad because I just didn’t know what to do. For all of 2015 I’ve been on and off ill for no reason that I can fathom. I pride myself on working to be the healthiest version of myself so why on earth am I ill so much? Why can I not even make it to CrossFit 3 times a week? In my rowing days I was training 13 times a week, it’s almost laughable. Except when you feel you must be doing something wrong it isn’t quite so funny. I just want to be healthy.

Then there’s the fun of being in your early 20s and trying to figure out what the heck you’re going to do with your life. I know the field and, up until now, this was enough. I was always one of those people who had a rough idea what they were going to do, it was always okay. Now I feel downright lost. I love my degree but, man, why does it have to make everything so damn interesting? How am I meant to choose? How do you even find human rights jobs? Am I even qualified? Will they want me?

Life gets rough sometimes. I try and balance my blogging here between being positive but also honest and open. I’m not going to write about my awesome week when it involves taking a day off work and sitting on the sofa, not leaving the house all day. I am however going to write about my beautiful friend who came round to cook me pancakes for dinner, bringing with her love, laughter and smiles. Talking that night we realised how lucky the two of us really are. We have amazing educations, we have a roof over our heads, we have enough to eat, we have incredible friends, we love and we are loved. Life ain’t easy sometimes but if you look hard enough it’s not so bad. The haves can overrule the have nots if you choose to let them. 

So please know, we all have struggles. I too feel lost sometimes and I too, at the age of 23, cry on the phone to my dad. I’m still figuring out, I still don’t know why my body isn’t cooperating with me and I still don’t know what I’m going to do… it ain’t easy but it will be okay. 

winnie the pooh

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10 thoughts on “It Ain’t Easy

  1. Beautiful post young lady. It ain’t easy but you will be ok, we all will 🙂
    And some wonderful NGO is going to snap you up the minute you finish your Masters. And if they don’t? It’s because there is a much bigger plan for you and you are going to save the world and be head of your own life changing organisation 🙂
    Sending lots of love and hugs xxx
    p.s. congrats on good results – you are amazing!

  2. I think gratitude is the best thing for shifting your perspective when you’re feeling down! Hope you start to feel brighter soon x

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