It is part of human nature to compare ourselves to others. Sometimes this can be a good thing, we learn how to improve, to adapt ourselves and to become the best version we can be. But, occasionally, it can go the other way and we fall into the comparison trap. When you start to constantly criticise yourself, belittle yourself that your not, nor will you ever be, as good as x, y and z. When you nitpick, fail to notice your achievement as you’re too focused on your shortcomings. This is when it goes too far.
The comparison trap is something that we can fall into in all aspects of our lives. The blogging world can be a typical example. Far too often I find myself reading someone’s What I Ate Wednesday or workout recap and contrasting it with my own – did I eat too much? Not work out enough?
Or perhaps it’s to the people in your life, your friends. Maybe they’re body bashing (pet peeve) and you feel you should too. Or everyone else is going out tonight – it is Friday after you – yet you want to stay in, does this make you boring? Have you started a new relationship and are comparing yourself to their exes? Are you a new mum and are worried about what kind of parent you’re gonna be?
Even to yourself. I was thinner x years ago. My job’s not what I expected. I’m not working out as much as I used to. I’m not skinny so why do I talk about my ‘issues’ with food? I’m not where I thought I’d be at this point in my life.
Stop. Just stop. Look at how exhausting this is, just writing it out is draining enough.
You’re never going to be like that perfect blogger you idolise (and they probably aren’t actually like that either!). You’re not going to be like their ex or the as good a parent as your best friend. You’re going to be so much better than that because you’re going to be you.
And you’re not going to be like you were 5/10/20 years ago either. Nor will your life be as you expected (that’d be pretty boring anyways). You’re going to be you, as you are now, in this present moment. So live in the present, be how you are now and quit wasting time comparing yourself to somebody else.
Yes, it’s not all that easy. Yes, it’s going to take time. Yes, you’re going to have to tell that little voice in your head to pipe down more often than you want to. And yes, when you get there, it’s going to feel pretty damn marvelous.
No questions, just your thoughts…