5 weeks today will be the last day of my internship. It will be 1 day until my dad arrives. 9 days until my 23rd birthday. 13 days until my flight touches back in the UK, 6 months and 6 days after I left. What can I say, I like my numbers.
Obviously all of these countdowns are very exciting – I cannot wait to see my friends, family, new house and return home once again. But I’ve got to admit something else… I’m actually pretty scared.
My current home…
- I’m about to turn 23 and in October I start a year long Master’s programme. Don’t get me wrong, this is my dream course, but it also means that I won’t be getting a ‘proper’ paid job until at least Autumn 2015. When I look at the friends I left school with, most of them have already been working away for nearly a year. Am I doing the right thing? Can I afford this? Rationally, I know following my dream is the right thing to do but it’s not always easy…
- Buenos Aires has become my home. I’m settled here. Can I settle again? In a new house, a new place, a new lifestyle? And then just over 2 months later do it all over again in London?
- I’m not done here yet. I’ve still got so much more to learn, more Spanish to grasp. Will I forget it all? Will I be able to continue to learn and improve back in the UK or will it all ‘be a waste’?
- All the problems I left behind when that flight took off way back in January will still be there. All the struggles I took a holiday from haven’t gone anywhere. Am I ready to face them so soon?
- What if everything’s changed? What if I’ve changed? What if it doesn’t feel like home anymore? What will I do then?
- Bonus. On lighter note – it’s going to suddenly be summer and that’s just plain weird… I’m ready for winter, snow and Christmas! Mind mess.
My British home…a bit of a jump!
I am also aware of the fact that I am incredibly lucky to have had the opportunity to take this experience in the first place, so I really do hope I am not sounding at all ungrateful here…
I know that I will get there, that these fears aren’t the be all and end all of everything and that I will learn even more and grow even stronger from my challenges in life…but it doesn’t make my weird limbo state much easier at the moment!
Have you struggled with coming back home after a big trip away before? Any random ramblings to join the party?!