My whole life I’ve been a perfectionist. It’s pretty much all I’ve known. This is something that I’ve written about before but life is a process, and I’m still working on that one. Any ‘flaw’ or hindrance to the pursuit of perfection has always been something I’ve felt great guilt about. Not enough work done that day. A workout missed, or changed. A couple of cookies…the usual culprits.
But why? Guilt is such a pointless, unproductive emotion. For the first time that I can remember, it seems to be fading. This week I’ve been feeling a bit under the weather, I’ve eaten a bit more – because I wanted to. I skipped yoga yesterday cos I felt like crap.
Woah, what’s that? I haven’t ballooned and become obese? The world hasn’t fallen apart because I did half an hour less work than intended? Shocker.
Sometimes we need to take a step back from our lives and adjust. Make a vat of tea, loose yourself in a movie, put that song on (you know, the one that makes the world full of possibility and hope just for those few minutes) and escape. Don’t be scared to treat yourself, it actually feels pretty good!
When I look around at my friends and family, those that have lost parents too young, families breaking apart un-expectantly or illnesses snatching away the years before we get the chance to live, I realise how lucky we are. To have that chance to live, healthily and fully – our lives can go anywhere we choose. So to feel guilt over a run, an ice cream or whatever? No thanks.
Life is a constant learning curve. It’s never going to be an easy path – and hey, if it was, that’d be pretty boring – don’t be afraid to pick yourself up and move on again. I know this is a post I never thought I’d be able to write, but boy is it worth it.