Rather a wordy post today – you might want to pop the kettle on!
“You always have to be perfect don’t you?” This was said to me recently (in a much politer way than it sounds written down!) by a very close friend of mine and it really hit home. I realised she had absolutely hit the nail on the head. I am never good enough for myself.
I have to be perfect. Have the perfect body, the perfect diet, the perfect workout, be the perfect daughter, the perfect friend, achieve the highest marks in all my work, get the perfect job, I could go on and on… No essay has ever been good enough, no creation ever quite right. I am currently writing my masters application, for a course I so desperately want to get onto, and I know I will never be satisfied with it.
Don’t get me wrong, sometimes pursing perfection can be very useful. When I was rowing it was what drove me on to achieve my goals, and I know it’s what’s got me through all my exams. But it’s not always healthy. I’m not just talking about myself, I’m referring to so many of us. Putting so much pressure on yourself only means that at some stage you are going to crack – something I seem to be doing far too much of lately, be it getting repeatedly ill or constant meltdowns!
To be honest, it is really starting to annoy me! These last few weeks I’ve found myself really struggling over the smallest decisions, which has been baffling me. Then I realised it was because I’ve been trying to ignore my bigger challenges that the smaller ones have become such an issue.
SO, time for a change! I am a great believe in living in the here and now, as you never know what is around the corner… as life so often proves. This has been slipping away from me of late but now is the time to bring it back – and make it count.
My all time favourite video…
I’m not going to be perfect. I accept that. But the thing is – I don’t really want to be. Everyone has their own definition of what perfection is… To quote Mark Darcy “to me, you are perfect”, and surely that’s all that counts?
The same friend has come up with an amazing saying which I keep bringing myself back to – “live a little lighter”.
So what can you do to live a little lighter?
- Make yourself write down all the issues that are causing you to stress at the moment and then ask yourself – what can I do to change this and make life a little easier?
- Take a bit of a step back from your life for a while and lift the pressure off yourself. I realised I was stressing about whether I was well enough to go the gym each morning this week and so I have banned (!) myself for the rest of the week and feel so much more relaxed for it!
- Do more of what you love – go for a walk in the sunshine, make your favourite food, watch an old film, call a good friend, listen to music that brings back happy memories, take a day off from everything and do something different…
What are your coping mechanisms when stressed? Do you often find yourself putting too much pressure on yourself?