I wrote this post a couple of weeks ago on the first day of my holiday in Grenada – I hope you are able to take something from it 🙂
Recently, I have been starting to stress about my body again… be it that my stomach is too big and wobbly or my face being too puffy. Quite frankly, this is irritating the hell out of me! So the word that I keep bringing myself back to is that of perspective…
I know full well that I have worked so hard to change my attitude towards both food and myself and I can safely say that I have improved but, naturally after 22 years of the same habits, there are still some wobbles. It is hard not being in the same routine all the time but I need to recognise that is just the way my life is right now and work with it the best I can.
I’ve had my idea of my perfect ‘goal’ body and you know what? I was bloody miserable. A size 8, sometimes even a 6, no proper boobs, no curves, sharper cheekbones but no sparkle in my eyes. I couldn’t concentrate on a conversation let alone enjoy my friends’ company or write a decent essay on a topic I loved (ironically, famine). Food was constantly on my mind and exercise simply a way of burning more calories to further my perpetual hunger. How is that a life?
Okay, so now I might have a few more curves than I am happy with, but let’s look at the positives here. I read somewhere the other day that we, women, don’t boast enough about our achievements so here goes… I have just graduated from one of the top universities in Britain with a high 2:1 in Economics and a 1st in my dissertation that I worked bloody hard for (I now know the meaning of putting your soul into something!). My family and personal life has been pretty turbulent the past few years but I have come out smiling, most of time, and I feel it is something that has made me stronger and the person I am today and you know what? I think I kinda like her. I am realising my passions in life, the things that make me happy, and I am not afraid to pursue them. I like listening to Radio 3 in the car when I am stressed, but when I am in one of ‘those’ moods I simply have to blast out some tunes and sing along at the top of my voice. I am fascinated by healthy living and cooking for a healthy lifestyle, yet sometimes a girl just needs a piece of cake. Preferably chocolate. I believe life is an adventure and I am damn well going to enjoy the ride. I worked for this, and fought to get myself to where I am today and I am going to make the most of it. (Ideally whilst wearing a fabulous outfit, and no, that’s not shallow.)
So, perspective. What a word. If having a few extra wobbly bits is the worst thing going on in my life right now then I can safely say I am pretty lucky. I am not unhealthy nor dangerously overweight; deep down I know that all it will take is ‘dialling it up’ for a bit with more veggies and less fats in my meals, lots of smoothies (YUM) and some extra gym sessions. It’s all about making the best decision in the situation that you are in. Remember though, life is made to be enjoyed – did I mention I am currently lying in bed (slightly jet lagged) in Grenada listening to a Caribbean downpour outside my window? Today is the first day of the trip of a lifetime and I’m going to have an incredible time, no stress, just a bit of perspective.